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this body; this mind

how you rob me of my autonomy then try offer my soul back to me i don’t know her i won’t do anything if somebody don’t tell me i can’t do anything without forgetting to forget confusion has wrapped itself around the throat of this mind like boa constrictors this body was not my own i’ve been astral projecting way before 11 this mind was walking on tiptoes waiting on your departure to start to haunt me this mind shows no mercy she takes sleep joy and sanity without discernment she leaves me with this feeling i cant even scrub off with scalding water this body just started to feel like my own i feel the psychological goosebumps whenever you come home don’t tell me that i’m strong when i can’t sleep at night like every hour i’m not spending hours tryna preoccupy this mind from thoughts that seem sinster and foreign even though i know they’re mine even though i don’t want them to be mine even though they should’ve never been mine this body just started to feel like my own this mind cannot catch up she is crying for help she is angry no one offered it sooner how can i be normal? when i’m a refugee of this body? when my refugee camp is this mind? how can i be whole? when there has been civil war in my being? when the whole world has just went on like it was fine? like i was old school. like i needed to get with the times how do i heal?

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